Shenanigans
by Ine2411
Summary: Bones/Kirk/Spock Academy AU. The academy is doing a play. Kirk gets an idea, but it doesn't go quite like he wants to. Written fast. WARNING: BoyxBoy


**Author's note: THIS IS SO POINTLESS. But it's for my friend. So here you go! My first time writing about these boys so be nice. **

**Disclaimer: NOTHING IS MINE. (sobs)**

**Onto the story!**

* * *

It was the end of James T. Kirks second semester at Starfleet academy, and he was not about to waste his time fooling around. Not that 'fooling around' was such a bad idea. However this year he decided to do something special, and the idea swirled around in his head when he burst through the door to his own room. Conveniently enough, his roommate was on the bed, reading something (Kirk didn't really care what) on his PADD.

"Bones, I got this great idea," he started, while snatching his roommate's PADD to get his attention.

"Damn it Jim, I don't care," McCoy glared at Kirk, while trying to grab the PADD. "Every time you get this 'great idea' of yours, it usually involves me doing something I hate, and I _bet_" he finally managed to grab Kirks arm and pull it down, "it does this time as well."

Jim frowned. Bones was usually cranky to some degree, but today his crankiness could climb mountains. He grinned at the mental image, but recovered quickly as said other seemed to be expecting him to talk.

"Yes, so" he waved his hand "you know how every year the academy arranges those lame theatre plays-" McCoy interrupted.

"No."

"But, you haven't even-"

"No." Jim was sure that someday the veins on his forehead would blow, and decided that it would be a good idea to grab his head and try to calm him down.

He earned an eyebrow raise in return.

"Bones. You haven't heard everything yet." He tried to look serious, and was hoping his roommate would give in for once. "Look, if we do this we could earn a few credits, maybe even have the professors at our mercy." Okay so maybe the last one was a bit over the top, but he had to try everything. McCoy rarely responded to any of his great ideas (and all his ideas had been awesome, mind you), so Jim figured he had to try everything this time.

The play was created so it would motivate the students. It would contain a full starship crew, where the lead actors would be the captain, second in command and conveniently enough the doctor. Why Bones would disagree, Jim had no idea.

He grinned casually, "Besides, it's not like you have anything better to do."

At this the other male just sighed. "Fine, I'll join your little charade for a while," he grumbled "but it better be a good play _and_ worth my time."

Jims smile widened at this. He quickly pecked McCoy on the cheek, and ran out the door leaving a flustered man behind.

"I gotta tell Spock!" He laughed.

...

He was about to trespass into Spock's room, when he remembered Spock would probably be in the lab. Logically of course, that was where Spock spent most of his time when not meditating or sleeping. This was something Jim learned after one year of his Spock-chasing game.

Now, seeing as Spock was one of the professors and not one of the students, it would prove difficult to convince Spock into joining. Jim had to find a logical reason to make him an actor. The only one he could come up with that very minute was the fact that he himself was going to be in the play.

Jim trotted towards the science lab while plotting some ingenious way to make Spock, in the same manner as McCoy, surrender to his awesome idea.

"_We could have so much fun together, we'll get cool costumes, have great sex behind the scenes (where no one could see of course)_…" his mind reeled as he opened the doors to the lab, his eyes fixing on the back of a certain pointy eared man. He could easily recognize the bowl haircut from 5 miles away, and he shouted "Hey Spock!" and jogged towards him. Said Vulcan turned with one eyebrow raised.

"Jim," Spock greeted and the corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly. "I see you are currently skipping your xenolinguistics class." Jim halted in his tracks and avoided his eyes.

"Yeah, I had something more important to do, besides it's -"

"Might I suggest that in order for you to pass your exam, you should participate in every class, seeing as it may prove vital for your oral exam next month?" Jim almost snorted a little at Spock saying 'oral exam,' because it was damn sexy.

"Why is everyone dead set on interrupting me today?" He sighed and gave Spock an exasperated look. Yet again Spock's eyebrow rose.

"I do believe it is impossible for every single entity in this academy to be 'dead set', as you say, on interrupting your speech," the Vulcan started, slightly dipping his head. "And it would be seemingly impossible for you to manage talking to every person here until now." He continued, locking his eyes on Jim. "It is still early in the morning, you would not have had sufficient time to-"

"Yeah, yeah, okay I got it Spock!" Jim grabbed his shoulders for emphasis. "It was a figure of speech, okay?" Spock was about to answer, but Jim didn't let him.

"Don't answer that," his blue eyes now stared into the dark ones, the mood suddenly shifted. "Listen, I got this great idea…" Jim continued to explain his self-proclaimed awesome idea to the Vulcan, who listened quietly, which was something he appreciated. Although Bones was adorable, it would be nice to actually have him _listen_ to Jim talk sometimes. Unfortunately after what seemed like hours of goading Spock, it did not seem to work.

"Vulcans are simply not made for acting, it is illogical." was Spock's final answer. _Too much human emotion in those plays probably. _Jim even suggested making out back stage, but nothing seemed to budge his stubborn lover.

Finally Jim succeeded getting Spock to at least watch the play, and join in behind the scenes whenever he wanted to.

...

Lounging on the bed and reading a book, or more like laying stretched out on his stomach on top of McCoy's, with his head facing west instead of north which would be fairly close to the other man's face. It took about 10 minutes of quiet tapping and shuffling before McCoy finally lost his temper.

"Oh for the love of all that is holy, Jim," he sneered and turned his head towards Jim. "I have one day off, _one_, and I'm not going to waste it on babysitting you." At this, Jim turned on his 'hurt puppy' look, which always worked on McCoy, but before he let himself be affected he rolled Kirk off his stomach. Kirk landed on his back at the end of McCoy's feet with a whine.

"Why Bones, I wish your period didn't come that often," he grinned and placed his head on his left hand and rolled to the side so he could get a better view of his best friend. McCoy thrust his mechanical pencil at Jims face and frowned.

"Watch it, or I'll make it so you can't walk during the rest of the month," Finally he grinned a little, though devilish. "And not in a good way, it will involve a lot of hypos which I've borrowed from my teacher." The blondes' eyes widened at this but his usual cocky grin was in place only seconds after. Jim was now opting to either leave McCoy alone, which would be the safest option, or drag him down on the bed and have his way with him right now. He conceded, the last option was much more tempting.

Before his roommate had time to pull his arm back, Jim had pulled him down towards him and flipped him over. Now Kirk was straddling him at the waist with his hands on Bones' chest.

"Did I tell you what the play was about Bones?" Jim grinned seductively down at the other man while fiddling with his collar.

"No, I was waiting for your idiotic-" his breath hitched when Jim slipped a hand inside his shirt. "Explanation which I knew eventually would come, _Jim_." McCoy raised an eyebrow when Kirk removed his hand and leaned down closing in on his ear to whisper, his hot breath tickling McCoy's neck.

"You will have to call me captain from now on, _Doctor_."

"I guess this means you've already signed us up for this stupid play," he shivered, trying to keep his voice even. "Without my consent." McCoy's head turned. " _Again_."

"Yes, and you will enjoy it," Jim smiled while hovering over his face, his breath mixing with the others. "I promise."

Bones stared into Jim's blue eyes and felt like drowning, but he stopped himself before anything of that sort could happen. "So I guess that hobgoblin is joining." It was not a question. The blonde chuckled, never looking away from Bones, still ever so close to his face. _Who cares about personal space?_

"Actually, no," Kirk leaned slightly backwards before continuing. Bones eyebrow went up again. "Spock thought it was illogical for a Vulcan to be an actor, so it seems that my first officer will be someone else." McCoy snorted.

"Of course, how can a machine be an actor?" He said, but it didn't sound as menacing as he wanted it to sound. His eyes trailed over Jim's body which was still straddling him, leaving him no place to escape. Not that he wanted to anyway.

"I bet that green blooded bastard will come just to laugh at us during the premiere." Jim rolled his eyes at McCoy's statement and grinned.

"You're right," Jim started, and leaned down again so Bones could feel the warmth through his shirt. "However he will also come during rehearsals, if he wants to that is." His hands returned to McCoy's collar, much to his joy, and slipped inside. "Also we will have_ hot_ make out sessions back stage." Jim pressed a little to get the other's attention. "All three of us."

"You are a fucking tease, Jim." McCoy couldn't take it anymore and pulled Jim down for a hard kiss, leaving the two of them trying to catch their breaths but not separating entirely. The blonde whined again, although not too convincingly, when McCoy reversed their positions and closed in with only two words to say.

"Shut up." He growled through gritted teeth.

...

Everything went smoothly, and Kirk and McCoy were easily accepted as the lead actors. They both had a good reputation and their grades were high, so it wasn't a big challenge for them to get the roles. McCoy wouldn't really mind being rejected, but now he didn't have a choice.

Currently they were trying on their new costumes, as all exams were finished and they could finally concentrate on getting the play ready. Kirk eyed his golden uniform and grinned. He was sure he would look damn handsome in this, and in the future he would be carrying his very own uniform proudly. Spock decided to show up, distracting Kirk from his appointed task, which was simply to try on his uniform.

"You look sexy in those glasses, Spock." Jim grinned. Spock came straight from class, as the stage was in the same direction as his dorm and did not take his glasses off. Jim approved of this.

Spock managed to walk in on Kirk when he was shirtless, and about to put his uniform on. The Vulcan now had Jim pinned up against the wall in a corner, looking down at the shorter man with a dark look. This did not stop Jim from talking and seducing him. Looming dangerously close to Jim, Spock managed to steal a few kisses and touches before McCoy walked in huffing.

"Damn it, this is too big," He glanced at Kirk and Spock in the corner before pulling his ridiculously large uniform off. "What do they think I am, an oversized man living on hamburgers only, from the 21th century?" Bones growled and frowned. At this Jim laughed and Spock simply raised an amused eyebrow.

"Damn it I'm a doctor, I don't eat this much unhealthy food." McCoy circled his arms and turned towards the other two.

"Spock, get off him, he has to try on his uniform," He walked over to grab Spock's arm and Jim was free. The blonde sauntered over to his uniform which was dropped on the floor sometime during the time Spock forced him into the corner. He threw it over his head and pulled. It fit perfectly.

"The uniform looks somewhat pleasing," Spock noted out loud. "It fits your character _captain_." When Spock emphasized the last word Jim turned around and grinned.

"Thanks Spock," he stood closer to the two of them. "I'll be wearing the same things when I become captain in the future, so you guys better burn the image into your brain."

"Cocky as always I see," McCoy rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, your ego will never change, how can we forget, you'll be reminding us every two minutes."

The doctor walked out to get a smaller uniform, and Kirk and Spock followed suit. As soon as everything was set and both of them had fitting uniforms they could start rehearsals. The script was pretty simple, as usual. It contained stuff like a heroic mission, the characters being clever and finding their way out of impossible no-win scenarios etc. Both Jim and McCoy snorted at this, and when Spock got to read the script he tilted his head and the corner of his mouth twitched.

They noted one scene where the captain would have to jump from one slippery platform to another, after being marooned on 'Delta Vega'. It didn't really sound that difficult, and Jim was sure he could pull it off easily. It was the only action scene they would get to do, that was outside the 'bridge', so he was hyped. Their assigned ship was the USS Enterprise, which in reality wasn't finished, but they were supposed to go on their 5 year mission during this play.

When the premiere was only seven days away, they were rehearsing on stage. Spock was occasionally, but not every day, sitting where the audience would be, simply observing fondly. Kirk was proud of himself. Not only had he managed to nail all his lines nearly perfect, he also had managed to nail Spock three times and McCoy four times during the last weeks. He was keeping score, and he knew Spock's stamina was, well, never ending but McCoy should've been tired of it by now. He was not, and this made Kirk's lower regions very happy, whenever Spock was not around.

Jim's trail of thought was interrupted harshly by said doctor slapping his head with the manuscript.

"Stop daydreaming, we need to get this right," McCoy eyed him sourly. "We'll be doing your 'Delta Vega' scene in a few days too."

_Finally_, Jim thought. After spending way too much time on the 'bridge' talking and shouting 'orders' he was ready for some real action. Now everyone knew Jim Kirk was brave, and maybe even stupidly so. He was not one to say no to a challenge, so he would do this without complaints.

It turned out that the platform was more slippery than he thought.

The premiere was only a few days away, and Kirk was currently standing on top of an 8 feet tall, slippery platform. Jim doubted real ice was this slippery, but thought no more of it. He was about to leap from his current platform to the other, which was placed on the right side of the stage. Jim already had problems with standing still, how on earth would he be able to run and jump.

It wasn't a large distance, Jim noted, but it sure would hurt if he missed.

He went over his lines smoothly, with McCoy on the ground below. Of course McCoy thought it was far too risky to be on top of that monstrosity.

"Kirk to Enterprise," Jim yelled into his communicator. "The entire security team disappeared in the blizzard, I can't find them anymore!" When he finished he made a scene of looking around the room while trying not to get snow in his eyes.

"McCoy here," The doctor spoke into his communicator down below. "What happened to first officer Karl?"

"He also… he's gone." The blonde stuttered gravely, before 'noticing' the ice below him started to crumble. The speakers around the stage now emitted some strange rumbling sound, which Jim found mildly amusing.

"Gotta go doctor, Kirk out!" He snapped the communicator shut and stuck it in his pocket. He prepared to jump, while McCoy stood beneath, watching alongside Spock and mumbling something like _damn it Jim, you better make it okay or I'll break both your legs_. The Vulcan raised an amused eyebrow at McCoy's silent muttering, inclined his head in agreement and turned back up towards Kirk.

Jim leaned backwards slightly before he began jogging slightly. It was hard on the slippery surface, and suddenly he had a feeling it would be an impossible task. Not that it would stop him from jumping.

What Kirk didn't notice was that it was less slippery on the edge of the platform, making him miscalculate his steps before jumping. His right foot stuttered when he was about to jump and he tumbled forwards, hitting his head on the edge of the other platform. The hit rendered him unconscious and he fell hard on the mattresses below, twisting his right leg in an awkward angle.

"JIM!" Both McCoy and Spock yelled, and people seemed to come running from everywhere, making sure he was alright. After what seemed like an eternity (and a few hard slaps from Bones) he opened his eyes.

"Ow, fuck," Jim cringed. "Am I dead?" He looked upwards and frowned at the platform.

"Not until I'm finished with you." McCoy refused to let his wave of relief show on his face, and decided that it would be better to just glare. Glaring always worked.

"Jim," This made the blonde turn his head towards the Vulcan. "You were unconscious for approximately 3, 09 minutes, before being awakened by McCoy." Spock now turned his attention towards Jim's leg. "Might I suggest you do not walk on your right leg, until you have recovered fully?"

"What are you talking about Spock, I'm perfe-" Jim winced and threw his head back when Spock probed his leg, looking for any broken bones. "Shit Spock, okay, I'll be careful!"

"The Hobgoblin has a point you know," Bones said when Jim looked back at him. "You'll be coming with me to the nurse, so we can make sure your head is alright." Jim didn't get his chance to reply before Spock continued as if knowing he would object.

"The good doctor is right Jim," He held Kirks hand. "Having McCoy there would also ensure that you get the proper treatment necessary for your head injury." Spock felt the blonde squeeze his hand, and his eyes softened when looking at Jim's silly grin. McCoy and some other members of the crew cooperated while managing Jim to the nurse, moving him as little as possible.

...

Later that day, Kirk was tired and ready to run home, flopping down on his bed and drift away into nothingness. The rehearsal was postponed until they could find a new captain and medical officer. Jim's leg wouldn't heal in time, and McCoy was assigned as his personal doctor, so he couldn't spend time on the play when he had Jim's head to worry about. His head wasn't really injured, just a small lump, but Bones never wanted to do the play anyway.

The 'flop down on his bed and drift away' part of Jim's plan was proving to be a bit difficult, as he exited the nurses' office with a pair of crutches. McCoy followed closely looking sourly at nothing in particular, and they both headed off to their room.

Jim was pretty down about the play now that his awesome idea was never going to happen. In McCoy's eyes he looked like a kicked puppy, and he regrettably wanted to do something about it.

"Hey Jim," He caught the blonde's attention after they entered the room. "Wanna explore my hidden stack of Saurian brandy?"Jim fell down on the bed, face first.

"…yeah." He said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

Drinking when he was down was McCoy's favorite way of getting rid of his sadness for one night. He always promised himself he would deal with it tomorrow. He usually stored some bottles for times like this, and often hid it from Jim. Jim did, after all, love spending his weekends getting drunk so McCoy preferred he did it outside of the dorm.

So there they were, sprawled out on the floor, limbs everywhere after playing cards and different drinking games for four hours. Something like that, McCoy couldn't really remember, he was totally wasted. Kirk had his injured leg on the bed while lying on his back on the floor, resting. 5 minutes ago, the floor was spinning way too fast, and he decided it would be a clever move to lie still.

The older man rolled with a grunt, after pushing their stack of empty bottles away. Jim turned his head towards Bones, looking at him through hazed eyes. McCoy locked eyes with him and didn't manage to hold his gaze for long, chuckling a bit. The blue in those eyes burned way too much, and it was way too late at night, and he was _not _in the mood to let him become burnt. Whatever that meant.

He decided it would only be logical, as a certain green blooded Vulcan would say, to crawl towards Jim and position himself beside him. Now they both were in similar positions, just lying there tiredly. Both of them glanced at each other and suddenly they were laughing. A lot.

Kirk put his arm on McCoy's chest and he tried to swat it away, but to no avail. It seemed to be stuck so he just frowned at it, figuring some glaring might just do the trick. The arm didn't budge.

"Damn it Jim, get your arm off me." He slurred and wiggled.

"Never."

McCoy sat up and dragged Jim further away from the bed so his leg was on the floor.

"Fuck you."

"Now?" Jim grinned. "I'm not sober you know, I could charge you." He shifted, ignoring the slight sting in his foot, the pain also being slightly dulled by the alcohol in his system. His shirt was ruffled, revealing slightly flushed skin which McCoy quickly noticed. Deciding that the flushed skin should not be neglected he continued pushing the shirt upwards, exposing Jim's torso. He convinced himself that it was the alcohol acting (even though he'd done this many times before), when he felt the need to touch Jim everywhere.

His hands roamed over his stomach and chest. McCoy leaned over Kirk and gave him a brief kiss before continuing to nip at his jaw and neck.

"Bones…" Jim groaned, full of want and need. Who was McCoy to deny him his needs? He went back up to give Jim's lips his full attention. The blonde moaned into Bones' mouth and accepted him in further, letting him explore Jim's mouth with his tongue. Kirk was panting hard now, his eyes blurred from lust. McCoy continued his assault on his mouth, while his hands roamed freely, occasionally straying over a nipple. The blonde gasped and arched his back, and circled his arms around Bones' neck clutching his shirt.

"Mmmm," McCoy pulled away to look at him. He was flustered and looked so damn _fuckable_. At the moment he wasn't able to find a word that could describe Jim any better. "I want you to manhandle me Bones." He licked his lips and grinned, his usual cocky grin.

Again, who was McCoy to deny Kirk his needs?

...

Days passed and Kirk had recovered by now. The premiere was due this day, and Jim and Spock were slowly walking towards the theatre.

"I wondered if they pulled off the Delta Vega scene…" Kirk wondered out loud. Spock nodded slightly.

"Indeed, I am somewhat curious to who they might have placed in your stead Jim." He looked at Jim with warm eyes, instead of the usual stoic ones. Jim could swear he saw a smile threatening to appear on the Vulcan's face. He lifted his right index finger and middle finger in a gesture similar to a Vulcan kiss. He chose this kind of kiss simply because they were out in public, and Spock wasn't exactly the guy who broadcasted his romantic gestures worldwide. He watched the green tinge appearing on Spock's ears and grinned when Spock placed his finger over his own, feeling a slight tingling in his hand.

"Jim!" Kirk heard from behind. Bones was running towards them, joining them in their little stride towards the theatre. The blonde clapped his shoulder when he came close and the trio walked together. Entering the building and greeting familiar faces they found seats close to the stage.

"Well, I guess the actor representing you" the doctor remarked and shook his head, "cannot be worse than the hobgoblin."

All he earned was an eyebrow.

* * *

THE END.

Did you enjoy? Thanks for reading!


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